If tumblr were a carnival I’d run a booth where people try and guess the amount of time it took for this girl to get this shot of herself.

If tumblr were a carnival I’d run a booth where people try and guess the amount of time it took for this girl to get this shot of herself.

Jace needs a binkie and a nigh-night from the looks of it.

Jace needs a binkie and a nigh-night from the looks of it.

Game of Thrones really sucks this season.

Game of Thrones really sucks this season.

Please tell me this bikini top is sold under the name Tits Happen.

Please tell me this bikini top is sold under the name Tits Happen.

This girl looks like she’s just about given up on everything and I can mostly tell that not due to her body language but because she’s dressed like a woman in a yogurt commercial.

This girl looks like she’s just about given up on everything and I can mostly tell that not due to her body language but because she’s dressed like a woman in a yogurt commercial.

I’m working on a short story right now called Can a Bad Girl Have a Trundle Bed?

I’m working on a short story right now called Can a Bad Girl Have a Trundle Bed?

I get that “rustic” is an aesthetic that people like, and that’s fine, I’m just saying that one day it’d be nice not to drink a mimosa made from Andre.

I get that “rustic” is an aesthetic that people like, and that’s fine, I’m just saying that one day it’d be nice not to drink a mimosa made from Andre.

Look, I’m not exactly at liberty to talk about how fuckin’ rowdy the line outside the first showing of The Fault in Our Stars got, but I will say BOWS GOT FUCKIN’ ASKEW, DOG! 
Shout out to HAILEY & GRACE!

Look, I’m not exactly at liberty to talk about how fuckin’ rowdy the line outside the first showing of The Fault in Our Stars got, but I will say BOWS GOT FUCKIN’ ASKEW, DOG!

Shout out to HAILEY & GRACE!

I have a new designation for people and I call it “Employee for Kashi”.

I have a new designation for people and I call it “Employee for Kashi”.

Shitty robot is absolutely appropriate for a quick costume party idea.

Shitty robot is absolutely appropriate for a quick costume party idea.

Fun Tip!: When you’re fake-taking a picture with a Polaroid camera that (more than likely) has no film in it—it’s important to remember not to hold the camera directly in front of where the picture would come out if it actually had film.

Fun Tip!: When you’re fake-taking a picture with a Polaroid camera that (more than likely) has no film in it—it’s important to remember not to hold the camera directly in front of where the picture would come out if it actually had film.

I went to high school with this super Christian girl who actually carved shit in her flesh during classes with a protractor, and she obviously meant it way more than this girl.

I went to high school with this super Christian girl who actually carved shit in her flesh during classes with a protractor, and she obviously meant it way more than this girl.

"Okay girls, stand by a backdrop that best describes you…"

"Okay girls, stand by a backdrop that best describes you…"

Uh…
This commercial is equating mustard to cum, right?